Thursday, April 28, 2011

MISS YOU

Its a mix of good and bad feeling when you miss someone..

GOOD FEELING - you're inspired to do more things.
BAD FEELING - when you can't do something about it or cannot even say,
hello! i miss you..

ahahah...haiz...
Lord, could you tell him that?hahaha Would You?
Please?
Thank you...

Friday, April 15, 2011

Euphoria

Smiling for reasons I don't know.kapoy ngisi every now and then. Wish it would always be like this.
People could've mistaken me as psychotic.
But Im sure that my mind still thinks straight
I could still discern what's right from wrong, you know.

I'd love talking to trees especially the guava tree when I sit on the balcony.
My mom would ask me, who are you talking at?
That guava. Di pwede aw?^_^
The air I breathe smells good
I couldn't describe exactly the scent
but my nostrils knows that it has no scent.haha

But if I ask my soul to describe,
it really smells like a perfume.
And wherever I go, it smells alike.
So rich and full of love
And I feel like the whole universe harmonizes with me.

Happiness.
Contentment.
What a euphoric feeling.


Friday, April 8, 2011

When You Know

A soundtrack from my all-time favorite movie, Serendipity♥
I super duper love this movie and can watch it over and over again without being bored..
(changing my bg music)

WHEN YOU KNOW - Shawn Colvin
When you know that you know who you love, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

When you feel in your skin in your bones and the hollow
Of your heart, there's no way you can wait till tomorrow.
When there isn't any doubt about it once you come this close
Cos you know and you know that you know.

You can feel love's around you like the sky 'round blue
This is how love has found you, now you know what to do.

When you know that you know who you need, you can't deny it.
Or go back, or give up, or pretend that you don't buy it.
When it's clear this time you've found the one, you'll never let him go
Cos you know and you know that you know.

And it's time you come in from the cold.
Haaa...
And you know that you know.

It Feels Good

I am a WHOLE new person with a brand new heart and mind..
But even though many things have changed over the span of time,
my heart is still.
It chooses no one else but you.
And it will always be you, no matter what.
Not because my mind wanted it.
You always tell me Lord that,
“IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT. If it feels bad, something must be wrong.”
As I listen to my heart and mind bossing each other,
It made me hear them what's really in my heart.
That I am truly happy every time I think of you,
do things for you, love you
…in silence.
…even in absence.
And it feels good.


Sunday, April 3, 2011

Renew Him

Dear Lord,

What a great day! And Im okay now. Thank you…
Maybe he need a quiet time away from me till he could realize something.“Renew Him”

It’s okay coz I can handle it with Your Grace.
Please help him. I know nobody could change him until you could make any transformations on him.
How I wish,
…he’d learn.
…he’d realize.
…he’d be awakened
…he’d become a better person.
…he’d walk a path – Your path Lord.
…and make You as his Center, his Strength, his Knowledge, his Refuge.

So that he would know, if not today maybe someday.
That life is meaningless
…worthless
…NOTHING without You.

Friday, April 1, 2011

How I Wish

Dear Lord,
If I had acted unkindly today please forgive me.
I just want you to know that the reason of the fight is not the star apple.
Maybe star apple is what triggers the whole thing. XD
I haven’t slept well this morning maybe that’s the reason of my mood shift.
I admit I am “suplada” but im not “bwisit”.
And perhaps “NAPUNO” na gid ko sa bro ko.
This is the whole story.


I was slicing the veggies for our daily consumption and he approached me,
Bro: Dai, kihada bi anai hu.
I: pwde mu lng gid mpihak sang kamot mu, pakihad mo pa.
Bro: dali lng gid po.
I: ai, ambot ah! (grabbed the star apple and divide using my hands)
Bro: teh?nano na oh! (naglapta jutai)
I: (resumed slicing the veggies)
Bro: gina-ayo ka lang gid poh. Daw sa piho ka!
I: pano nagpiho? OO na, lakat na to..
Bro: kasuplada cmu. Ndi ka mag-amo na..
I: oo na gani, hipos na da.
Bro: daw sa piho ka
I: (smile) ako pa ang piho.
Bro: Pamati man bla.Ndi ka mag-amo na ke sa ulihi ndi ka gid na mamayuhan.
I: Ok ah, kaw gapamati aw?
Bro: OO eh, ,msabat tka ayhan kng wla ko gpamati? Kbalo kman dapat mgrespeto kng gusto mo respetuhon.
I: huo na gni.
Bro: ah gale ha! Sugod sbng kay ndi tna ka pagsapak2on..ang bwisit ka
I: wala ko labot. (low voice and sliced my finger slightly. Ndi man sakit ah.after nlg.)
Bro: abi mo may makuha ka sakon?
I: ano mkuha ko cmu aw?ke wala man gid. (smile and still slicing)
Bro: lantawon ta kng may mapalangga cmu.amu na nga gnabayaan ka prmi kay kasuplada cmu..
I: (huh?gconnect man? Sorry lng gid ha,,damo nku gndeposit na LOVE. And im not afraid. Being suplada is not a factor. As if ikaw ndi suplado.)
Bro: lantawon ta eh. Ke magtigulang ka ikaw lang isa..
I: lantawon ta eh.. (abi mo mpati ko sa gnahambal mo aw?i can’t make u a model if you yourself can’t prove what you say. Asta ka lng prmi sa hambal. Patawhay ka lang prmi sa balay..cmu man b,ano mkuha ko 2od cmu??wala man gid)

Yes, you have been a good boyfriend to your gf.
But did you ask yourself if you have been a good brother to us??
Does a good brother shouts his younger brother to get off from the computer like treating him as a dog??
Does a good brother helps when being asked by a sister for a homework or any nursing-related works?
Did you ever asked if you have been a good son to our parents??
Did you ever asked if what things you have contributed in the house??
Yeah,,maybe just sit, eat. Maybe papa is right. You are just a boarder in the house.
You can’t even close your cabinet, clean your room or even just think of something what to contribute in this house. What you knew is just sit and stare in front of the computer, watch tv,eat..
Your alibis aren’t excuses.

Ako na gani Lord gatinlo ka room ya, biskan everyday gaugtas ko kay my ara na gid laguan, di pa da mbutang.Ilapta gid. Pero okay lang naanad nman ko. And Im hoping man tani mkbachag xia huya. Nga ndi ko ya maid pra mgsunod sg lapta ya. Im doing it for you Lord, to help him change. But insensitive gid xia ya katama. I’ve learned to stretch my patience. And give more extensions. Sbng ya napuno na gid ko.

You know what?Mama and Papa is just keeping quiet. But you can always tell that they’re also tired of reminding you everyday. And maybe its because they are hoping that someday, you will learn. That’s why they think its okay that Tita Melda won’t be staying home with us anymore. It’s because we are grown-ups now and they wanted us to learn life. Learn to do things independently without asking anybody to do it for you. I’ve learned so much. But did you??

Why do you think my smile stretches to my earlobes when I see you doing things that’ve not been asked you to do??Even just when you serve me a glass of water?Its because I said to myself, “hai at last daw na feel ko man gid even just for once na my brother ko. Hai hala ngpisan man gid xia. Ai hala Lord thank you gid ” And I wish it was everyday. T_T

I hope someday, if you can’t give it to me, please let Mae and Ton2 feel that they have an older brother. Then maybe I’d be the happiest sister in the world.

Im sorry Lord but maybe this is good to spill out these things instead of keeping it within me. SORRY. NAPUNO NA GID KO and its hurting me. I don’t blame him Lord. Maybe, time will come and he’ll be a better person. But for now, I just don’t want to say things that could hurt him more. Maybe I couldn’t really change him..Carefree gid xia ya. Im tired na. Ikaw na bahala cia Lord. T_T
 

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