It Feels Good

I am a WHOLE new person with a brand new heart and mind..
But even though many things have changed over the span of time,
my heart is still.
It chooses no one else but you.
And it will always be you, no matter what.
Not because my mind wanted it.
You always tell me Lord that,
“IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT. If it feels bad, something must be wrong.”
As I listen to my heart and mind bossing each other,
It made me hear them what's really in my heart.
That I am truly happy every time I think of you,
do things for you, love you
…in silence.
…even in absence.
And it feels good.

Renew Him

Dear Lord,

What a great day! And Im okay now. Thank you…
Maybe he need a quiet time away from me till he could realize something.“Renew Him”

It’s okay coz I can handle it with Your Grace.
Please help him. I know nobody could change him until you could make any transformations on him.
How I wish,
…he’d learn.
…he’d realize.
…he’d be awakened
…he’d become a better person.
…he’d walk a path – Your path Lord.
…and make You as his Center, his Strength, his Knowledge, his Refuge.

So that he would know, if not today maybe someday.
That life is meaningless
…worthless
…NOTHING without You.

How I Wish

Dear Lord,
If I had acted unkindly today please forgive me.
I just want you to know that the reason of the fight is not the star apple.
Maybe star apple is what triggers the whole thing. XD
I haven’t slept well this morning maybe that’s the reason of my mood shift.
I admit I am “suplada” but im not “bwisit”.
And perhaps “NAPUNO” na gid ko sa bro ko.
This is the whole story.


I was slicing the veggies for our daily consumption and he approached me,
Bro: Dai, kihada bi anai hu.
I: pwde mu lng gid mpihak sang kamot mu, pakihad mo pa.
Bro: dali lng gid po.
I: ai, ambot ah! (grabbed the star apple and divide using my hands)
Bro: teh?nano na oh! (naglapta jutai)
I: (resumed slicing the veggies)
Bro: gina-ayo ka lang gid poh. Daw sa piho ka!
I: pano nagpiho? OO na, lakat na to..
Bro: kasuplada cmu. Ndi ka mag-amo na..
I: oo na gani, hipos na da.
Bro: daw sa piho ka
I: (smile) ako pa ang piho.
Bro: Pamati man bla.Ndi ka mag-amo na ke sa ulihi ndi ka gid na mamayuhan.
I: Ok ah, kaw gapamati aw?
Bro: OO eh, ,msabat tka ayhan kng wla ko gpamati? Kbalo kman dapat mgrespeto kng gusto mo respetuhon.
I: huo na gni.
Bro: ah gale ha! Sugod sbng kay ndi tna ka pagsapak2on..ang bwisit ka
I: wala ko labot. (low voice and sliced my finger slightly. Ndi man sakit ah.after nlg.)
Bro: abi mo may makuha ka sakon?
I: ano mkuha ko cmu aw?ke wala man gid. (smile and still slicing)
Bro: lantawon ta kng may mapalangga cmu.amu na nga gnabayaan ka prmi kay kasuplada cmu..
I: (huh?gconnect man? Sorry lng gid ha,,damo nku gndeposit na LOVE. And im not afraid. Being suplada is not a factor. As if ikaw ndi suplado.)
Bro: lantawon ta eh. Ke magtigulang ka ikaw lang isa..
I: lantawon ta eh.. (abi mo mpati ko sa gnahambal mo aw?i can’t make u a model if you yourself can’t prove what you say. Asta ka lng prmi sa hambal. Patawhay ka lang prmi sa balay..cmu man b,ano mkuha ko 2od cmu??wala man gid)

Yes, you have been a good boyfriend to your gf.
But did you ask yourself if you have been a good brother to us??
Does a good brother shouts his younger brother to get off from the computer like treating him as a dog??
Does a good brother helps when being asked by a sister for a homework or any nursing-related works?
Did you ever asked if you have been a good son to our parents??
Did you ever asked if what things you have contributed in the house??
Yeah,,maybe just sit, eat. Maybe papa is right. You are just a boarder in the house.
You can’t even close your cabinet, clean your room or even just think of something what to contribute in this house. What you knew is just sit and stare in front of the computer, watch tv,eat..
Your alibis aren’t excuses.

Ako na gani Lord gatinlo ka room ya, biskan everyday gaugtas ko kay my ara na gid laguan, di pa da mbutang.Ilapta gid. Pero okay lang naanad nman ko. And Im hoping man tani mkbachag xia huya. Nga ndi ko ya maid pra mgsunod sg lapta ya. Im doing it for you Lord, to help him change. But insensitive gid xia ya katama. I’ve learned to stretch my patience. And give more extensions. Sbng ya napuno na gid ko.

You know what?Mama and Papa is just keeping quiet. But you can always tell that they’re also tired of reminding you everyday. And maybe its because they are hoping that someday, you will learn. That’s why they think its okay that Tita Melda won’t be staying home with us anymore. It’s because we are grown-ups now and they wanted us to learn life. Learn to do things independently without asking anybody to do it for you. I’ve learned so much. But did you??

Why do you think my smile stretches to my earlobes when I see you doing things that’ve not been asked you to do??Even just when you serve me a glass of water?Its because I said to myself, “hai at last daw na feel ko man gid even just for once na my brother ko. Hai hala ngpisan man gid xia. Ai hala Lord thank you gid ” And I wish it was everyday. T_T

I hope someday, if you can’t give it to me, please let Mae and Ton2 feel that they have an older brother. Then maybe I’d be the happiest sister in the world.

Im sorry Lord but maybe this is good to spill out these things instead of keeping it within me. SORRY. NAPUNO NA GID KO and its hurting me. I don’t blame him Lord. Maybe, time will come and he’ll be a better person. But for now, I just don’t want to say things that could hurt him more. Maybe I couldn’t really change him..Carefree gid xia ya. Im tired na. Ikaw na bahala cia Lord. T_T

A Little Longer

Everytime I cried out and told God and my angels that I
should stop any connection with you, there's something strange happening.
seems like the world disagrees with me.i saw a man wearing white shirt
last night when i was about to close my eyes
and before my consciousness subsides. the last time, i saw him,
he was wearing gray shirt but with blurry face. Now,I can almost
see the shape of his face - he has an oval shaped face.the eyes wasn't
that clear yet.but atleast i now see his eyes unlike the man in gray that his
facial features are all blurry.


haiz...Lord.T_t
i dont know till when i can hold on with the same person.
should i let him go?should i share my world with others aside from him?
why everytime i think that i think i should go, i receive strange
transmissions??
why still i couldn't move on?
why if i insist that i dont want any connection with him, even without any
means of communication he is still connected with me in other means??
in a way only souls can understand??
why i feel sometimes losing a part of myself if i resist to forget him?
why do i feel pain when i think of that person?
why would he always cross my mind? even ive only met him once?
why would he always popped up on my thought even though i wasn't thinking of him?
why do i feel certain that he is the man for me?even though my mind rejects that thought?
why do i do things for him?
why do i have to resist these emotions?
is it because im afraid he would hurt me again?
is it because he already love someone?
or maybe he never had loved me?

haiz,,when would i learn how to balance my mind and my heart?
when would i learn how to follow my conscience?
when would i be deserving of a love so true?
when would i be happily in love again?

I did everything Lord, you know that.
I've changed me.
I'd become positive, happy, loving, caring for my family and friends.
I give them what I only have..LOVE,TIME.
I did everything for them Lord its not because I want something so bad.
I did it, give it openly and warmly because i love doing it.
..because this is ME.
I love them seeing happy when I share my little world that had been enlightened by You.
a world so magical and full of your richness and love that only me can understand.
That's why I wanted it to share with them so that they can also experience how am I being loved by YOu.
That I am genuinely happy and sincere..
That I dont need any rewards for those deeds..
That I can manage to be happy and strong as long as I have you Lord.

I did everything for you Lord.
But even how many times I tell you Im happy,
I still couldn't fill the gap in my heart.
I had given it to You for safekeeping a few years ago and Im really grateful
that you haven't handed it yet to anybody that doesn't deserves it..
Yes, i've found my true self and Im happy about it that i'd become whole.
Yet i couldn't explain these feelings that Im really a part of someone else's life.
But its okay Lord,maybe I have to wait a little longer
..for the right person
..at the right place
..in the right time and reasons
With God's timing, all is well and
everthing will fall into place.♥

Not Pork

Salig.Salig. Amo na lang gid to gnhatag cmu nga part,wala pa kaeffort2.
haiz...Im so tired. Tired of giving chances to people
who doesn't even bother to change.That's the last and here's the wall.
yuhooooo! ugtas..ugtas..hahaha Pork and I would never be goodies. not ebir!
maka-tao man o maka-hayop.It's toxic to the system.hahaha

A Blessing

♥You prayed and waited too hard, trying all the means to take of
things you don't own. But everytime you do, failure sinks in...
only makin' things more complicated.



How frustrating.

And as you search for truths,
you ended up being engulfed by this startling revelation:

"It could never be apart from you
for it is ALWAYS and FOREVER be
imprinted in your soul..
It is now a part of who you are...."


All you can do is to live with it and be grateful.
Acceptance is the key to live a happy life.♥


As quoted,
"We must become lovers of Truth no matter how much it hurts.
It is the truth that will set us free only if we will learn how to
recognize and receive the WHOLE truth and not just those things
that we are comfortable with." - anonymous

"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free." John 8:32

A blessed and happy morning to all!


Legend:
between the ♥'s - alien languange translated to human alphabet (i really made an effort there looking for a translator.hahah)
--------------------
background music: Everytime I Close my Eyes
---taerz! kalaw-ai pamatian..hahah wla garelate. *allergic*

Going Home Soon

early discussion about the quake in Japan while having breakfast.
papa: te pila ang npatay?
bro: 200-300
papa: kajutay mlg gle
joi: ke di pa mkita tungod sa baha
papa: tani 1 million pra magbuhin populasyon sa kalibutan
joi: corek.. ang us (damo mkasasala) pagd tani kag china
mama: sa manila pa gid
papa: baw kng sa manila kag didto ko naassign te tani kamo na lang
mama: maggwa ka eh. alangan mapakuribong ka sa hotel! (namersa,haha)
papa: ang survival instinct sg tawo ara na ya,
poh kng di ka na kasurvive sa sitwasyon wala ka gid may mahimo.
kitaay na lang ta sa next lifetime eh..
mama: haha, mkaluwas ka pa ayhan kng magpiyak ang duta kag mtampukan ka?
ako ya gusto ko maging pispis pra kng magtsunami mkalupad ko.
joi:whahah
bro: aswang ka na lang para di ka mapalid
mama: yawan ka to karon pangita sang piyak mo nga lawas eh
joi: masanagan adlaw mpatay kaman jpon..te ukayon mo lang imo half ya eh.
mama: ireport ko eh, kung sin-o makakita sang lawas ---

HAHAHAHAH
(this time, serious talk na)
papa: ang maadvice ko ya sa inyo, spend quality time
with your friends and family.
mama: te malagaw ta ya to pirme
(mama ko adik gid ya! haha)
papa: (cont.) ... gaabot na ta sa punto nga mdula na ang physical aspect
sg kalibutan kag ang spiritual nlg mabilin
joi: agree gid ko da pa. gnaenjoy ko na gani sbng
amo na sbng nahimo ko. *grin*

(before my father had spoken those words, i knew it before.
it started on my birthday i couldn't just explain those feelings.
all i wanted is to spend happy times with my friends and family.
after noticing the biblical events unfolding, it knew this is it.
Im so excited because we're going home real soon.. to our real home♥ )

Try Next Time!

Dear two-horned creature:

I was getting successful a while ago,when after checking out my guest,
everything turned upside down.I'm glad to say you win for forfeiting
my exam grade in front office and at the same time,
I am sorry to declare that you lose.Coz letting someone
like me feel down would never be that easy.
Try again next time..when you can. Maybe you need a better tactics.
Goodluck!

Pakasal?

inside the bedroom..
mae: mlantaw ko da movie b
joi: ano ka?my ulubrahon pko ya
joi: (facing the computer & listening to music while
watching herself in the mirror)maubra pko report
mae: gpagwapa klg gd da po.matulog nlg ko gni (throws herself to bed)
the song "all my life" plays..

joi: ♪♫ am i already here in your arms..♫..♪
amu na gid ni ang akon nga wedding song ya..*giggle*
mae: pakasal ka nga wla ka lng gid migo poh.. (insulto na or wat? ha? hahaha)
joi: cge lang ya,labot mu..hahah (wala in my dreams aw?weh di nga?haha)

A New Background Music for Bloggie

When was my blog's birthday?I forgot.
I think this time, I'd better change my background music.
After a consistent playback of "FOR YOU I WILL" for how many years,
a new song would do a little change i think.

"GOD GAVE ME YOU" here you go.♥

God Gave Me You – Bryan White Song and Lyrics Code

For all the times I felt cheated, I complained
You know how I love to complain
For all the wrongs I repeated, though I was to blame
I still cursed that rain
I didn’t have a prayer, didn’t have a clue
Then out of the blue
God gave me you to show me what’s real
There’s more to life than just how I feel
And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn’t know why
Now I do, ’cause God gave me you
For all the times I wore my self pity like a favorite shirt
All wrapped up in that hurt
For every glass I saw, I saw half empty
Now it overflows like a river through my soul
From every doubt I had, I’m finally free
I truly believe
God gave me you to show me what’s real
There’s more to life than just how I feel
And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn’t know why
Now I do, ’cause God gave me you
In your arms I’m someone new
With ever tender kiss from you
Oh must confess
I’ve been blessed
God gave me you to show me what’s real
There’s more to life than just how I feel
And all that I’m worth is right before my eyes
And all that I live for though I didn’t know why (didn’t know why)
Now I do (I finally do), ’cause God gave me you (God gave me You)
God gave me you

Thank you Lord for showing me the light..
and for the transformations you have made on me..especially for renewing my heart and mind.
I love it.Thank you!♥

My Lost Dog

I miss KOOKIE. ='(
When i hear the song "TELL ME " plays,
I couldn't help but reminisce the moments i am with him.
That time I was really in a solitude. At that moment,i couldn't
get out of the house since i have just recovered from an illness.
I would just sit in the balcony and stare at the sky.
He would then come close to me and put his half of the body on
where Im sitting just to accompany me or lie in my lap while standing.
He would be there for as long as 30 minutes.
Some dogs would easily tire and bore except him.

He understands me. I know.
Though he can't tell me in words, i could just feel it.
He's different from any other dogs. And i love him.
i really miss you KOOKIE. I wish to see you again.T_T

Something Fascinating to Read

I was strolling yesterday at Sm then stopped by at
National Bookstore when I found a great book entitled "Karmic Astrology"
by Ruth Aharoni. My eyes grew wide. They are on sale! From Php669 down to Php200.
I couldn't resist not buying it since there are only two left on the shelf.
And besides, it would give me a sleepless night thinking what's inside the book. So i grabbed the opportunity, though i've got no enough money left on my pocket, at least it cured my cravings.

Whew!!!I didn't regret buying it for Php200.00. It's worth the read. It's very complex yet fascinating of how God created the universe. It revealed a lot of myself and my relationships with the people around me and at the same time about You Lord.
Thank you for another gift.♥