Welcome 2009!

Happy New Year to everyone!!
this year awaits us

more surprises..

more blessings..

gettin' excited what are those...lolz!
may God give us the right things we needed in life!
Take care guyz!

and yeah,,,i really had fun a few hours ago.
There's so much blessings worthy to count on.
....my complete family
........my two dogs
.............my friends
...................my relatives
.........................my new life!

hurray 2009!hehe
love yah guyz...

i know,i know...its already 3:30am..
and still my eyes are workin great..ahaha not that great.
at least i had prolonged its duty..
thanks for the undying sponsor of Sensomed-Decocon A...

till then..*waves*

Half-wishing

Few months had passed and i say,i really missed his company.
i could jump out with excitement hearing a beep from him.
He would always check on me,
could go online just to accompany or even help me in times i have lot of loads to do
or just chitchatting without really nothing to say. just enjoying the moments together..

all of these are..
just a part of yesterday.(sobs)

somehow, everything had changed as to what you expect the less.
reading his message throbs me in pain.
Its not that i don't wanna hear from him. just that..

that,

i don't know.

yeah, could still feel the presence.
..his cold presence. not his warmth.And it's torturing me inside.
a sweet torture that could sometimes cause me to paint a smile on my face for missing him
or at little times could drown me into a mud of gloom and hopelessness..

I wish God could get his way back to me..

♪..♫ There's nothing more i could do but waiting.
Half-wishing..(what the song is playing)♫ ♪♪

Post for Christmas

Um,,napansin ko lang..
wla pla akong post nung Christmas..
happy nman 'ung Christmas eve kac andito sina lolo at lola,
chaka pamilya ni tita melda..
the more, the merrier daw..
un...xympre hayz,,nkayanan ko pa naman idilat mata ko.hehe

Special ang araw na ito kac nga bday ni Jesus hehe
anyway, la nman ako masyadong maikwento.
paggising ko ng umaga, the usual routine, ang paglinis ng bahay.
then the whole afternoon dun lang ako sa room,hehe
la namn mgawa kaya nglalaro lang ng rubix cube.
'nung gabi mejo nbored na tlga ako.natulog siz ko,
kaya ntulog na din ako ng maaga.dat was 8pm i think?ahaha

ai hu nga,kalimutan ko...nmatay pa pla lolo ko.

belated merry christmas..

ahaha,,cnxa of all the post, i know ito ang, di ko alam. errr...
xympre Christmas, dpat happy.haha

My Dragon Nightmare

La..la..la..lolz

i think i really got nothing to say..
as of the moment, im alone so i turn the speaker's volume to the fullest
aww...haha,,its kinda
embarrassing to let you know im a bit scared right now..
the reason why i set the speaker too loud..hahaha

remembering my nightmare last night makes me shiver with fear and crazy at the same time..
its about my bro's pet(i dont know what kind of creature is that..some sort of a dragon you would usually see in cartoons..wait wait...let me find a similar pic that suits my description)

aha!!!this is him!!!

i am UNCONDiTiONALLY and iRREVOCABLY hating him!

the only difference is the color and its expression.
That one on my dream is white in color outlined with red and looks devilish!!!
this one looks so sweet despite his sad face.hihi

i tried to sleep sound last night its because im not feeling good..
but this little devilish dragon bugged me on my dreams causing me a sleepless night.

this was my nightmare...

My bro and I are sleeping in one room.i don't know who's house was that.
Somebody had awakened me up however my body can't move. I wanted to see his face but i couldn't. Luckily, i am able to catch a glimpse on him. a dragon??

"what is that?? why can't i move??"
trying to reach this little devil, wanting to throw him a punch but i wasn't able to move..
i really wonder why i can't move when all he does is watching me intently with a devilish eyes..and would go around me...grrr i prayed to God for the strength. i shouted for help as loud as i could but sad to know its only me who could hear myself. A couple of minutes passed and God granted my prayers...

at last,i caught him!!!!and hit him hard on the head.

i know this is a crazy dream.haha

quickly, i wake my brother up to chain his stupid pet. "hey!you put that devil back on his cage", i said furiously. "I'll just hold him hard so he couldn't escape from me."

[to be continued...]

Puzzling thoughts

A bittersweet th0ught:

What if the missing puzzle that c0mpleted me,
0f which i've f0und it through his help, (getting confused on this part.should it be his help or POP!) *single brain cell--- damaged*
Happens t0 be him? That he really is the part that made me wh0le?Uhuh?
How am i suppose to think about this?
*head shakes*

Ah..Nah...I refuse t0 dwell 0n this th0ught.

But what if its the reality i just can't accept?Just like bef0re I've kn0wn him?
That i can't accept i was fallin f0r him already the first week I've known him?
and simply I refused to name it as something for it started only in text messaging?
But there,i still ended up admitting i was madly in l0ve with him..

Tsk3,such a crazy shameful th0ughts t0 p0nder 0n..

Im Taken..

12/28/08

An0ther byg0ne days away fr0m him..

The last th0ught c0uld never be wr0ng.
"He c0uld be g0ne anytime."
And n0w he is..

I wanna kn0w the wh0le real thing
bef0re getting t0 the p0int 0f th0ught
that he truly is...
g0ne.


The cut 0f updates fr0m him might tell that something is wrong. He might be ending up everything.
I should have grieve f0r such a l0ss,f0r l0sing s0me0ne i th0ught w0uld be mine s0meday.H0wever acceptin' it in a very humble way had never been a big issue f0r me.

S0metimes,acceptin' things then lettin' g0 c0uld be the best way t0 0ffer..Because that's what they wanted, and by n0 0ther means, y0u have t0 let g0 0f them t0o. Even if it leaves an unwanted h0le in y0ur life..

There would be times that God sends out someone for special reasons and that reason could be to love us, teach a lesson, or hurt us in way that would mold us into shape. Whatever it is, we should be thankful about it. (awtz,,yeah right. be thankful.even so it means he'd be leaving?that could be something hard to accept. )

S0meh0w, n0thing t0 w0rry ab0ut.
N0t a big deal th0ugh.


C0z


im already taken..



Yeah..


Taken f0r granted.Again.L0lz
Im s0 used t0 it already.

all i c0uld say is,thank y0u!
Thank y0u because 0f what had happened,
0r whatever y0u have in mind f0r letting g0 0f me, (i presume,)
y0u had given me the 0pp0rtunity to judge y0u s0 easily.

Impatient - y0uve gr0wn t0o tired 0f waiting.
C0ward - your s0 afraid f0r what c0uld 0r might have been.You never trusted me and that's y0ur l0ss.

Oh,bef0re my mind diverts away t0 s0me 0ther imp0rtant th0ughts, an infinite thanks t0 y0u,Mr._________. I sh0uld have grieve f0r such a l0ss 0f y0u and yet im fl0ating with j0y. I've never been like this. I understand that when God takes away s0mething g0od, its bcoz He has something better to give. And yeah...

See, I have l0st s0mething and in-exchange f0r that i gained what I've really been missing f0r all these years..

my true self..

Inside the Ship

12/19/08

We had this Shipboard FAM last thursday and yeah,,i admit it's fun yet i've been so damned.
it was so uneasy of me letting myself get in the ship..

the reason could be shallow but its just that i don't wanna stay there..
I flinch while i was there going around after eating the early dinner..

No way i'd be working on a ship. Now i remember the last time i got myself lost.
Its the way to the port..but why?? Was it a sign that i have my future on the sea?errr..That's a no-no!

This coming February i think is my onboard training..T_T
And the big problem is the payment for it. that could run more or less 15-20thou?for just a week?

wow!!!
that big amount could be used for my surgery already..




"♪.♫...you don't know me..
you dont even care..
you said,you dont know me...
and you don't wear my chains..
I think I'll go to Boston
I think that im just tired
I think I need a new town to leave this all behind
I think I need a sunrise
Im tired of sunset.. ♪ ♫ ♪...♫ "

Selfless Love?

12/19/08

A bitter truth:

Its hard to resist one's wishes or desires even though,
you could only have little or sometimes nothing left at all to give:-(
but still,you do spare what's been left on you
w/o giving concern about the outcomes.

You just give and give unselfishly.


For many times, it may seem okay.
But aren't they abusing your goodness?
Its because you just can't say NO to them
they could ask a favor in no time then?

At zero hours, things could go far beyond as what've been expected..
and asking favors beyond someone's limitations might sometimes reach its high peak
Sooner or later, it might wear out one's being without their thought.

However, when this happens have you ever been asking yourself or
Did these thoughts ever crossed your mind?
why am i so good?
why do i have to give when little or nothing's left on me?

Some may say that could be wrong sometimes.. *shrugs*
Giving without thinkin' of yourself at all. *this line confuses me,haha"
But how can you resist them when they're really in need of something?
You just can't say NO. Guilt stings you know..

And yeah.. that's it.
I could outlive the moments as long as Im aware of what I'm doing.
Maybe, that's just me? And that might be hard to change just for somebody..

Cherished Friends

12/18/08

Cherished Friends
by: Roselyn Valdevieso

God must have known there would be time
We'd need a word of cheer,
Someone to praise a triumph
Or brush away a tear.
He must have known we'd need to share
The joy of "little things"
In order to appreciate
The happiness life brings.
I think He knew our troubled hearts
Would sometimes throb with pain,
At trials and misfortunes,
Or goals we cant attain.
He knew we'd need the comfort
Of an understanding heart
To give us strength and courage
To make a fresh,new start.
He knew we'd need companionship,
unselfish...lasting...true,
And so God answered the
heart's great need
with cherished friend...
Like you!ü

--------------
from a great loving friend who's always been there during my high and low times.
rose, thanks for making this poem for me.really appreciate the effort esp the friendship we share.
lab yo gid ko bah.hahaha ^^

Screwed up

12/18/08

aarghh...been magnetized again by this coding thingy..
be back later...i forgot that id be having this Ship Fam by 2pm..

How can you say if you love the person?

12/17/08

A very tough question.
Got this from my fellow blogger while i was on a bloghop
so,quoted it..

"Its loving the WHOLE Package....

and the EXCESS BAGGAGE!"

Thanks for this thought...

Bloggy

12/16/08

bloggy, been missing you.. T_T
dontwori, after all these school stuffs im gonna post more entries.
ahiii..ive found a cute song chords. ^^ gonna try this for sure.
LOL,, im so lazy right now in going to school.haha
is it because Christmas break is fast approaching?haha

*overwhelmed w/ joy*
nevermind..just super-duper happy right now.haha
of course not that im inspired by someone..
its just that im happy giving what i have without expecting something in return.
not for someone i really love but for people who i just knew this day..haha
you can't give what you don't have.ayt? so im just sharing the blessings i had received from God on this very day..


(to be continued...)