Weekly expenses stresses me

Have you ever grown tired of asking for money every now and then?
but then you don't have any choice whom to turn to but your parents?
and when you ask, you hear statements like "where would you spend it?" "that's too much" "we don't any left for our lunch" and some other stuff like that..*deep sigh*


Being a student is really a pressure for me especially if you're enrolled in a course with a lot of expenses..ingredients for dishes especially.it costs a lot of money. grrr...

every week, i have this where-should-i-get-the-money headache since i've got two subjects that requires purchasing of ingredients. too bad 'coz my savings are also used for my school expenses. But when bankruptcy settles on me, i would really ask money from my mom eventhough its kinda embarrassing. because im not really the type who always ask for help if i still can manage the situation. *dont have choice*

few hours ago, i asked again *lost 5 confidence points in the process*

what You have revealed a few days ago was a gratitude. and with that i was able to say, thank you for i can now say that he's not. I've just been saved. I know i am..^^

Reserved

got some news today..
but i don't have time to type yet.arrgh
(excited pa nman)



here i am, cramming now for my tour project and managing to study for my exams tomorrow .

hey, this is just a post to remember that i have something to tell on this very day..haha
well you know, every moment for me is significant.

i'm gonna make it as a basis for you know..haha

*sigh*

got nothing to do right now.
just having my guitar session,(forgot when was the last time i played)
when all of a sudden got my eyes welled up with tears after going OL.. T_T
and so wat kung globe ka.wth!
(naghapdi nlg mata ko kay huhu)
must visit my doctor for an eye check-up on Monday.
hope I wouldn't receive any bad remarks from him

Lord, PLEASE...don't try to tease me again..
PUh-LEeez :(
it's stressing me.

Moonstrucked

Actually, i don't have any intention of going online today coz of my busy schedule and my pre-prelim exams. but after being moonstrucked again (take note: "AGAIN") due to the beauty and fullness of the moon, i was opted for some minor update since its almost been a month i had my last post .


The MOON...
the MOON...
the MOON...

here i go again, hahaha
i don't know what's really with the moon that attracted me..
felt like gravity is pulling me just for a stare..
Does Mr. Right also stares at the moon?just like i always do?ahaha
Do you think its the only communication given by God
since im not yet ready to meet him??ahaha (you are dreaming)

Don't ya worry Mr.Right..
I'll meet ya halfway when everything's ready..haha

7:35 pm
Amswalk now signing-off!

I want a man

- an excerpt from "What to do until love finds you" by Michelle Hammond


I want a man
not just any man
I want God’s man
hand-picked
kingdom appointed
for such a woman as this . . .

I’m looking for a love
not just any love
I want the God kind of love
filling a heart that beats
to the kingdom’s rhythm
unadulterated
Holy Ghost saturated
the kinda love that
can’t be rated . . .
poured out
runnin’ ovah
like water in a glass
already full of good things
smooth as silk
yet tough as rope
wrapping around my soul
keepin’ it all together
forever
with room enough for me
to be

a woman
not just any woman
God’s woman
whole and free
to love you
the way I want you to love me
with a love
not just any love
but the God kind of love
rich as a sinful dessert
pure as tried gold
the kind of love that can hold
onto your hand
and God’s at the very same time
delivered from all other ties that bind
and yes
I’m free enough to wait . . .
for a man
not just any man
but the man
who understands
and knows what love means
and lives what God says . . .
and wants what I want

a real love

a strong love

a tall love

agape love.


God’s love.

Till its time

My first newly released song..Hahaha
Thank God was inspired that time and I was able to finish the full track..^^ (though its not quite good)



I have made this for one special person in my life whom i thought would have the courage to hold on till the time comes. but sadly, i later knew he's taken already ^^


maybe this one,doesn't fit to him anymore..
instead i dedicate this to my Mr.Right.^^

Baso: "Stand up when you fall"

ahahaha!! kkamerienda ko lang at natawa talaga ako ngayon..watda!

simple lang naman kinain ko. bbq na saging, softdrink at chaka cheese bun. ano ba meron sa tatlo nun ba't npatawa ako?

kasi ganito yun eh, yung di naubos na coke ni mama isinalin ko dun sa baso ng papa ko. and den pinatong ko sa pinggan ang baso, na dadalhin ko na sana sa loob, kaya lang parang gnun nga, dahilan sa pagkaclumsy ko, nahulog at natumba sa mesa. Wala lang, parang ewan ako. haha

Yung pinagtatawanan ko na part ay ang dramatic na pagkatumba ng baso tapos yung dramatic din na pagbangon nito.haha

tinanong ko kapatid ko kung nakita niya yun, eto ang insulto niyang reply. "uu, eh ano naman ang nakakatawa?" napatawa ako ng tuluyan hanggang sa nakarating ako sa kitchen. Yun napatawa ulit ako.

"Ang babaw naman ng kaligayahan mo, " napasabi ng kapatid ko.
Pinagtawanan ko lang siya, "eh syempre. parang miracle eh. natumba, tpos napabangon ng ganun na lang?"

Hay wala naman. Nakakatuwang pangyayari kaya pinost ko lang kahit wala naman talagang kwenta. at hanggang naman sa pagtype natatawa pa rin ako sa lokong baso na yun. haha Napatawa niya talaga ako.^^

Current Realizations:

Yes, senseless. But then, to perceive things beyond what our normal eyes can see, we discover that there are reasons and explanations underlying it of why such events are happening. Truly, its so hard to define nor answer those uncertainties at the back of our minds, yet we know for sure that God would never let us walk alone unto the unknown shadows of life. As we grow more patient and faithful to all these happenings around us, slowly by slowly, God is working out His plan for us, in a subtle way, without our knowledge. There would be lonely days at times but believe me, it never lasts. If you were just being observant of what was happening around you, you may realize that God still cares, would make us smile in different ways, despite His business in preparing a good life for us. And that cup is a mini-miracle from Him, for it made me laugh in a way i could never understand why, for me, that cup is truly funny.

Day after day, God is showing His love for us, giving out His mini-miracles in simple forms, which some of us thought was just the normal way things are, yet we never know its a simple gift to appreciate or to be grateful for and most especially, to let us know He's there for us all the time.

Let Go and Let God

Here I am, watching the favorite noon time show, The Wowowee, with my family.
really can't remember when was the last time i joined them in. That was like two months ago or so? yeah, been busy spending my time both in bakeshop and in the hotel. And to tell you, im not really into watching tv shows unless ive got nothing to do. I'd prefer to browse the net than just sitting and watching the tv. But since, i've got no choice, then fine. (haha)

Um i guess you've heard that song Ikaw Na Nga from Willie Revillame, the one he's performing before he starts the game? i got surprise when my mom teased me to --- oh sorry that was one of the memorable events in my life i forgot to blog. If i have time, (sure you got more time) okay then..it's just that i don't know how to make the story? how it happened, so on and forth.

where was i again?got lost.hahaha oyeah, she had managed to tease me again to that guy. With that, i didn't give a bite instead, i just gave her a wry smile, somewhat an expressionless response to her little annoyance. She seemed to noticed that face (though i was trying to be less obvious) and hit me back with this question, "Is he still texting you?" i just said plainly, "no he isn't" in a low tone. Then i added a little talk about what they are doing right now at Manila, just the brief knowledge i got from a friend.

"Maybe she got a lot of pretty girls there.."

I felt a little discomfort on my chest, though i know she cited the words unintentionally, not to hurt me or what. I just sit back and keep quiet while these certain thoughts running at the back of my mind.

Okay fine. If that would going to happen, im ready..open to all the possibilities between us.

It could be a part of God's plan and i'd better accept it now. not sooner or later. I must let go and let God do the wonders for me.

I have a certain feeling that everything will be fine. There's this unexplainable feeling again that something might surprise me sooner or later. though i don't have any idea what it is, my heart could feel the excitement again. *grin* *giggle*

Whatever it is Lord, I know for sure, that it would be far something great from what i had been expecting.

thinking stinks! part 2

The reason why i got tired of thinking?
coz it uses up my energy, starves me easily.
(burning 12 calories per hour or so depending on how intense your concentration is, losing pounds for short, had always been a big issue for me)
and attacks my brain cells bit by bit.

since i got only a few brain cells left to think,
one good thing, my eyes and throat took over.

plus 1 more week

*sigh* Thank you God. palangga Mo gd ko ya..^^

i thought i couldn't rest this summer..
this time, this week, im gonna call this one more week, a true vacation. hiyeah!!

The Girl Beyond

Now everything is at the normal pace.
You may saw her glowing when chitchatting with her company,
sharing the past happenings and laughing out with them.
Just filling in the gap they had lost for few weeks.
She's enjoying.

Yet the moment she turned her eyes on me,
I noticed something different.
Her eyes are so intense that looking at it might wreck your heart into pieces.
A lingering saddened eyes welled up with unnoticed tears..

Looking at her seems she's not the one i used to know.
I could have understand her but never the moment i chance at her
bursting out into tears..

One time, i sneak out on her room to find out her dark secrets.
My eyes hovered inside the small room..it was indeed dark.
Suddenly, my jaw felt tight, seeing a small figure in the bed.
I fell down on my knees, while watching her on that state.

It was her. Shedrowned her face into pillows, curled herself like a fetus
as she cried out every pain..catching every breath in her heart,
while battling herself against tears
What could have made her world feel so dark and lost?