Confused

hai suzzz... *deep sigh* *and one more sigh*
isn't everything enough? kapoooy...

even how many people waves on me and try to knock at my door, i still end up thinking about the past so blurry..been struggling for years with this emotions...ENOOOOOOOUGGGGHHHH!!!please????

it's a mysterious experience... its diggin down deep in my soul.i dont know, i just couldn't explain this feeling.BRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Now i feel so confused on what I'm holding on for so long. As new acquaintances are trying to enter the scene, I dont know if the one that i had believed would still be the one or not. So hard to tell. I see no actions. What if im just trying to build up those lies just to mask the pains? That were not really meant for each other? That I'm just trying to force these things to happen when in fact its not gonna happen?awwww...

anyway, the past few months I met a new friend, but we'd only get close these past few weeks before my return in Negros. His family showed me care..or maybe its just that i care for everyone I met,that's why.Karma it is..Good karma results into good life. The whole family approves and the only problem is me. He's a good guy, responsible, anything you wanted in a guy though he's not that handsome as my past love. Faces doesn't matter to me at all. My eyes would look at the soul directly. But there's still lacking. I wouldn't know yet. Before going home, I made him a scrapbook with our pictures with his family and my friends on. Just a thank you gift. All words used are wholesome and carefully chosen so as not to trigger any emotional flips.I would feel guilty if would enter in this relationship. We've talked about it already. That I couldn't still decide about it since Im waiting for the one God has chosen for me. It's good to know that he agrees with it without any complaints. He buys my medicine, prepares me foods and avoids those things I can't eat. I can feel he really cares for me. And I'm doing the same to his family not because that's what it is supposed to but this is who I am. And Im not just doing it for them but for everyone I meet, Still doing some observations,though. I'm open for the possibilities. WHAT IF? It's him? Only time can tell.

Then I know a friend too, we have so much in common. There's a part in him that I like..but there's still lacking..ai Lord.

Please give me an ALL-in-ONE package, could you?thank you in advance.hehe

all i know for certain is that I'm meeting someone I-don't-know-if-i-know-him-or-not..he's a little closer now.Next year I'll be seeing him - the "One".

Grow and be ready *_*