Sunday, September 20, 2009

IKDG (cont)

Chapter One
So This Is Love?

Beyond What Feels Good, Back to What Is Good



It was finally here - Anna's wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family.

Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a string quartet filled within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar.

But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.

Anna felt her lip begin to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. "Is this some kind of joke?" she whispered to David.
"Im.. Im sorry, Anna," he said, staring at the floor.
"Who are these girls, David? What is going on?" she
gasped. "They're girls from my past," he answered sadly. "Anna, they don't mean anything to me now...but I've given part of my heart to each of them."

"I thought your heart was mine," she said.
"It is, it is," he pleaded. "Everything that's left is yours."
A tear rolled down Anna's cheek. Then she woke up.


Betrayed

Anna told me about her dream in a letter. "When I awoke I felt so betrayed," she wrote. "But then I was struck with these sickening thoughts: How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day? How many times have I given my heart away in short-term relationships? Will I have anything left to give my husband?"

I often think of Anna's dream. The jarring image haunts me. There are girls from my past, too. What if they showed up on my wedding day? What could they say in the receiving line?

"Hello, Joshua. Those were some pretty lofty promises you made at the altar today. I hope you're better at keeping promises now than you were when I knew you."

"My, don;t you look nice in that tuxedo. And what a beautiful bride. Does she know about me? Have you told her all the sweet things you used to whisper in my ear?"

There are relationships I can only look back on with regret. I do my best to forget. I laugh them off as part of the game of love that everyone plays.

I know that God has been faithful to forgive as I've asked Him to. And I know that the various girls have forgiven me, because I've asked them to.

But Im still aware of the consequences of my selfishness. I gave my heart away too many times. And I took from girls what wasn't mine.
This is the rest of the post



I Kissed Dating Goodbye

i've been on a long vacation and never even missed my blog..haha
i've been too busy enjoying with so many things.
things so unusual as it was before.
although things can sometimes go mad, i hardly noticed catching myself from despair.


Everything is totally great and loving.
It is so fun pleasing God in everything you think and do.

And when i think back of the disappointments and heartaches i had on my past, i can clearly say, it was all too selfish. Love was selfish. It is a worldly kind of love. not God's definition of love. After reading a few pages of the book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" I can say im still innocent if in terms of His definition.

The reason that I have little time in blogging its because I want to spend more time pleasing God and to learn more about His definition of true love. (i've spent also time farming which adds up also to my busy schedule *grin*)

its hard to explain my feelings today. it's indescribable.. i smile without even knowing the reasons why. (im not being lunatic or what) Its an overwhelming feeling entrusting your future to God that everything would turn out fine.And it really is. I've turn richer than i could ever remember - not financially but spiritually.

Being single would never be a problem at all. =p

Reading Joshua Harris' book entitles "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" had inspired me throughout my journey -- to wait for God's timing. i have just started reading a few pages. And I really recommend you to read it too. Its an awesome book.


I KISSED DATING GOODBYE
Introduction


Thanks for picking up this book. Some people never get past the title.

"My friends won't touch it," one girl told me. "They hear the title and say, "There's no way I would ever do that."

One guy urged me to change the title. "More people would read it," he said. Maybe he's right. I heard the story of a confused bookstore customer who asked the owner for a copy of I Kissed My Date Goodbye. Now there's a book with a message people would read!

I decided to call this book I Kissed Dating Goodbye because I want to be up front with you - there are some radical ideas on these pages. Most other books on dating will tell how to make dating work for you. This book tells you how to make your life pleasing to God - even if that means taking a break from dating.

So let me make a simple request. Just read the first chapter. If nothing in it grabs you, that's fine. But I think you'll discover that something in this book could help you.

You see, I don't want to argue with you about whether or not you should date. Yes, I'll be honest about the problems I see in the way most people date today. But ultimately my goal isn't to convince you to stop dating. I want to help you examine the aspects of you life that dating touches - the way you treat others, the way you prepare for your future mate, your personal purity - and look at what it means to bring these areas in line with God's Word.

So even though in one sense this book is about dating, in another sense dating isn't really the point. The point is what God wants. Discussing if or how to date isn't an end in itself. Talking about it serves a purpose only when we view it in terms of its relation to God's overall plan for our lives.

You may not agree with some of the things I write. That's okay. My hope is that you'll stick around to see what I have to say. If you at least walk away from this book with a little more wisdom, my mission will have been accomplished - and your life could be enhanced. I pray that the ideas shared here will bring you a little close to God's desire for your life.

So thanks again for picking up the book. Thanks for reading more than the title.

-Joshua Harris




Tuesday, September 1, 2009

It's so nice to be happy!

here we go again.... *smile* *grin* *more grins* ahahaha

some people might think you're getting crazy day after day smiling, laughing for some unknown reasons..what they do not know that behind those smiles and laughs is not just about faking, masking and stuff which they had commonly seen, heard or felt from others. but its more like saying, i'm true, contented and genuinely happy inside and out.




Sunday, August 16, 2009

Overjoyed

can't further pinpoint where my current emotions are generated from.
felt so high today.. *sigh* *grin*
MyEm0.Com
some familiar state i was experiencing last year..
same old feelings..exactly!

still examining myself what could be the reasons why.
i wanna know in the first place why i feel so inspired..MyEm0.Com
im sure its not about that someone im talking past in my blog..
nor that i found someone new..
doesn't have anything to do with my grades..
nor with the 2 surprising scholarships i had received a few months ago..
or for passing the tesda assessment..

hmmm..im in the process of thinking.


i could still describe what i am doing when i was in that euphoric state..
was so happy that time that love overflowed and radiated out my whole being.MyEm0.Com

i could still remember, my notes are doodled always with heart shapes. (till now, i carried it with me)
even my buko pie during my baking class have hearts also..haha (sometimes my buddy diane and i are having minor argumentations because of our differing designs.hers was a broken heart and mine was the opposite,haha)
everything im doing was engraved or embellished with hearts ..LOL
can't imagine myself for skipping 2 classes just to send heart cookies from negros to cebu..haha (never done that before)
or sending some recorded sound clips through web..XDMyEm0.Com
or giving away slices of cake or a plate of dish to some people i don't know much..
i remembered the tricycle driver of my same age(i think), who asked for my number in a few weeks time after i handed him a piece of cake..ahaha (maybe he'd thought i liked him. totoinks!)

the old love feeling is re-existing..
yesterday, someone complimented on me and asked me if im in love?XP
"yes, im in love, as always. " what did i said? in love? ahaha
words just slipped out my mouth, ya know..^^

i dunno. nothing is bothering me right now.not even heartaches and confusion
just wanna enjoy everything i am in right now..ahaha
maybe, this heart-nosed creature could demo it for me
MyEm0.Com

Good night everyone..


p.s. a very significant day for me. 16. Love you, LORD!^^
(would be editting/adding some lines in my next visit)


Saturday, August 15, 2009

My Babies

it was a boring afternoon and i just came across this website.

MorphThing


cant stop myself from laughing, looking for some cute match to come up with a cute baby. really had fun! *LOL* you gotta try this..

here are my babies from their different lemme say "fathers"?XD


for my privacy can i just keep the names invisible?haha
lets play a guessing game. u ready??

now you can guess their father's name..haha

baby #1


baby #2

baby #3


baby #4


baby #5


who's the cutest among them all?

P.S. im 100% single.LOL,, im just having fun.okay?so dont spoil my day..haha

Friday, August 14, 2009

Drunk

i wanna blog but really have nothing to say.
did i just mean nothing?
umm, actually got more thoughts to blog yet dunno where to start.
and its just that im having a hard time putting it into words..^^

*freakin' spaced-out*

about my class this morning, i just remembered, our professor let us taste 6 kinds of wine: red wine, white wine, rose wine, champagne, black and white martini with varying alcohol content. we were required to taste all of them. in other words, each one must have a shotglass of each beverages.




since im not really engaging into such drinks, i had only forced myself to make 2-3 sips of each awful drinks (yeah,,tastes awful especially the white martini. taste like a fermented cockroach, eww) i offered my left-overs to my classmate since im allergic to alcohols.

some had gone beyond 10 shots already.guess what? my they were freakin' drunk during class. Red faces, sleepy eyes and uncontrolled noises covered the entire room.

*yawn*

im sleepy now.can't open my eyes wide..so i think
and maybe you think also i have to go for a rest.

good night!!
*off to bed*

Saturday, August 8, 2009

Truth hurts

i really wanna know why there are some people who would love us to go through a more difficult path before exposing us to the most awaited and obvious truths..
MyEm0.Com
why do they always love to play with people's feeling??
can't they play with their own emotions??
or maybe they don't just have one?
that's why they prefer playing with someone??
MyEm0.Com


Okay, im trying to sound serious now about my blog's content so readers wont consider them as rubbish. Well im not really in favor with that kind of attitude.

Humans are not things. They are not just objects you could easily throw away when you see its damaged already or feel like its not important to you at all. Human beings are God's creature and should be treated with great respect.

Oh wait! i don't know really why in the middle of blogging, i talked about the difference between humans and objects when in fact there's only one important thought i'd like to impart to the readers..
MyEm0.Com
it goes something like this oh...

Please...
please...

Don't ever try hiding things from somebody although you know it would hurt them. Don't let them wait for longer when you can immediately reveal them the truth"


Do you know what adds up the pain?
They are most likely the people who would say to themselves, "I'm afraid it would hurt so I'd better keep it until I have the courage to tell."

Pains won't last that long after some surprising revelations but it would hurt more when you try to conceal it much longer. Its not the truth that hurts. Its the gap, the hours of waiting which bring confusion sometimes depression.

So puh-lease, (isn't it obvious that im now begging?well...) if you are one of those people, be brave enough to say the truth. Don't try to conceal it in your hands..
For we all know, the one and only truth can set people free. MyEm0.Com


Monday, July 27, 2009

Weekly expenses stresses me



Have you ever grown tired of asking for money every now and then?
but then you don't have any choice whom to turn to but your parents?
and when you ask, you hear statements like "where would you spend it?" "that's too much" "we don't any left for our lunch" and some other stuff like that..*deep sigh*


Being a student is really a pressure for me especially if you're enrolled in a course with a lot of expenses..ingredients for dishes especially.it costs a lot of money. grrr...

every week, i have this where-should-i-get-the-money headache since i've got two subjects that requires purchasing of ingredients. too bad 'coz my savings are also used for my school expenses. But when bankruptcy settles on me, i would really ask money from my mom eventhough its kinda embarrassing. because im not really the type who always ask for help if i still can manage the situation. *dont have choice*

few hours ago, i asked again *lost 5 confidence points in the process*



Friday, July 17, 2009

what You have revealed a few days ago was a gratitude. and with that i was able to say, thank you for i can now say that he's not. I've just been saved. I know i am..^^

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Reserved

got some news today..
but i don't have time to type yet.arrgh
(excited pa nman)



here i am, cramming now for my tour project and managing to study for my exams tomorrow .

hey, this is just a post to remember that i have something to tell on this very day..haha
well you know, every moment for me is significant.

i'm gonna make it as a basis for you know..haha

Saturday, July 11, 2009

*sigh*

got nothing to do right now.
just having my guitar session,(forgot when was the last time i played)
when all of a sudden got my eyes welled up with tears after going OL.. T_T
and so wat kung globe ka.wth!
(naghapdi nlg mata ko kay huhu)
must visit my doctor for an eye check-up on Monday.
hope I wouldn't receive any bad remarks from him

Lord, PLEASE...don't try to tease me again..
PUh-LEeez :(
it's stressing me.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Moonstrucked

Actually, i don't have any intention of going online today coz of my busy schedule and my pre-prelim exams. but after being moonstrucked again (take note: "AGAIN") due to the beauty and fullness of the moon, i was opted for some minor update since its almost been a month i had my last post .


The MOON...
the MOON...
the MOON...

here i go again, hahaha
i don't know what's really with the moon that attracted me..
felt like gravity is pulling me just for a stare..
Does Mr. Right also stares at the moon?just like i always do?ahaha
Do you think its the only communication given by God
since im not yet ready to meet him??ahaha (you are dreaming)

Don't ya worry Mr.Right..
I'll meet ya halfway when everything's ready..haha

7:35 pm
Amswalk now signing-off!






Wednesday, July 1, 2009

I want a man


- an excerpt from "What to do until love finds you" by Michelle Hammond


I want a man
not just any man
I want God’s man
hand-picked
kingdom appointed
for such a woman as this . . .

I’m looking for a love
not just any love
I want the God kind of love
filling a heart that beats
to the kingdom’s rhythm
unadulterated
Holy Ghost saturated
the kinda love that
can’t be rated . . .
poured out
runnin’ ovah
like water in a glass
already full of good things
smooth as silk
yet tough as rope
wrapping around my soul
keepin’ it all together
forever
with room enough for me
to be

a woman
not just any woman
God’s woman
whole and free
to love you
the way I want you to love me
with a love
not just any love
but the God kind of love
rich as a sinful dessert
pure as tried gold
the kind of love that can hold
onto your hand
and God’s at the very same time
delivered from all other ties that bind
and yes
I’m free enough to wait . . .
for a man
not just any man
but the man
who understands
and knows what love means
and lives what God says . . .
and wants what I want

a real love

a strong love

a tall love

agape love.


God’s love.





Saturday, June 13, 2009

Till its time

My first newly released song..Hahaha
Thank God was inspired that time and I was able to finish the full track..^^ (though its not quite good)



I have made this for one special person in my life whom i thought would have the courage to hold on till the time comes. but sadly, i later knew he's taken already ^^


maybe this one,doesn't fit to him anymore..
instead i dedicate this to my Mr.Right.^^

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Baso: "Stand up when you fall"

ahahaha!! kkamerienda ko lang at natawa talaga ako ngayon..watda!

simple lang naman kinain ko. bbq na saging, softdrink at chaka cheese bun. ano ba meron sa tatlo nun ba't npatawa ako?

kasi ganito yun eh, yung di naubos na coke ni mama isinalin ko dun sa baso ng papa ko. and den pinatong ko sa pinggan ang baso, na dadalhin ko na sana sa loob, kaya lang parang gnun nga, dahilan sa pagkaclumsy ko, nahulog at natumba sa mesa. Wala lang, parang ewan ako. haha

Yung pinagtatawanan ko na part ay ang dramatic na pagkatumba ng baso tapos yung dramatic din na pagbangon nito.haha

tinanong ko kapatid ko kung nakita niya yun, eto ang insulto niyang reply. "uu, eh ano naman ang nakakatawa?" napatawa ako ng tuluyan hanggang sa nakarating ako sa kitchen. Yun napatawa ulit ako.

"Ang babaw naman ng kaligayahan mo, " napasabi ng kapatid ko.
Pinagtawanan ko lang siya, "eh syempre. parang miracle eh. natumba, tpos napabangon ng ganun na lang?"

Hay wala naman. Nakakatuwang pangyayari kaya pinost ko lang kahit wala naman talagang kwenta. at hanggang naman sa pagtype natatawa pa rin ako sa lokong baso na yun. haha Napatawa niya talaga ako.^^

Current Realizations:

Yes, senseless. But then, to perceive things beyond what our normal eyes can see, we discover that there are reasons and explanations underlying it of why such events are happening. Truly, its so hard to define nor answer those uncertainties at the back of our minds, yet we know for sure that God would never let us walk alone unto the unknown shadows of life. As we grow more patient and faithful to all these happenings around us, slowly by slowly, God is working out His plan for us, in a subtle way, without our knowledge. There would be lonely days at times but believe me, it never lasts. If you were just being observant of what was happening around you, you may realize that God still cares, would make us smile in different ways, despite His business in preparing a good life for us. And that cup is a mini-miracle from Him, for it made me laugh in a way i could never understand why, for me, that cup is truly funny.

Day after day, God is showing His love for us, giving out His mini-miracles in simple forms, which some of us thought was just the normal way things are, yet we never know its a simple gift to appreciate or to be grateful for and most especially, to let us know He's there for us all the time.

Let Go and Let God

Here I am, watching the favorite noon time show, The Wowowee, with my family.
really can't remember when was the last time i joined them in. That was like two months ago or so? yeah, been busy spending my time both in bakeshop and in the hotel. And to tell you, im not really into watching tv shows unless ive got nothing to do. I'd prefer to browse the net than just sitting and watching the tv. But since, i've got no choice, then fine. (haha)

Um i guess you've heard that song Ikaw Na Nga from Willie Revillame, the one he's performing before he starts the game? i got surprise when my mom teased me to --- oh sorry that was one of the memorable events in my life i forgot to blog. If i have time, (sure you got more time) okay then..it's just that i don't know how to make the story? how it happened, so on and forth.

where was i again?got lost.hahaha oyeah, she had managed to tease me again to that guy. With that, i didn't give a bite instead, i just gave her a wry smile, somewhat an expressionless response to her little annoyance. She seemed to noticed that face (though i was trying to be less obvious) and hit me back with this question, "Is he still texting you?" i just said plainly, "no he isn't" in a low tone. Then i added a little talk about what they are doing right now at Manila, just the brief knowledge i got from a friend.

"Maybe she got a lot of pretty girls there.."

I felt a little discomfort on my chest, though i know she cited the words unintentionally, not to hurt me or what. I just sit back and keep quiet while these certain thoughts running at the back of my mind.

Okay fine. If that would going to happen, im ready..open to all the possibilities between us.

It could be a part of God's plan and i'd better accept it now. not sooner or later. I must let go and let God do the wonders for me.

I have a certain feeling that everything will be fine. There's this unexplainable feeling again that something might surprise me sooner or later. though i don't have any idea what it is, my heart could feel the excitement again. *grin* *giggle*

Whatever it is Lord, I know for sure, that it would be far something great from what i had been expecting.


Monday, June 8, 2009

thinking stinks! part 2

The reason why i got tired of thinking?
coz it uses up my energy, starves me easily.
(burning 12 calories per hour or so depending on how intense your concentration is, losing pounds for short, had always been a big issue for me)
and attacks my brain cells bit by bit.

since i got only a few brain cells left to think,
one good thing, my eyes and throat took over.

plus 1 more week

*sigh* Thank you God. palangga Mo gd ko ya..^^

i thought i couldn't rest this summer..
this time, this week, im gonna call this one more week, a true vacation. hiyeah!!

The Girl Beyond

Now everything is at the normal pace.
You may saw her glowing when chitchatting with her company,
sharing the past happenings and laughing out with them.
Just filling in the gap they had lost for few weeks.
She's enjoying.

Yet the moment she turned her eyes on me,
I noticed something different.
Her eyes are so intense that looking at it might wreck your heart into pieces.
A lingering saddened eyes welled up with unnoticed tears..

Looking at her seems she's not the one i used to know.
I could have understand her but never the moment i chance at her
bursting out into tears..

One time, i sneak out on her room to find out her dark secrets.
My eyes hovered inside the small room..it was indeed dark.
Suddenly, my jaw felt tight, seeing a small figure in the bed.
I fell down on my knees, while watching her on that state.

It was her. Shedrowned her face into pillows, curled herself like a fetus
as she cried out every pain..catching every breath in her heart,
while battling herself against tears
What could have made her world feel so dark and lost?

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

thinking stinks!

at this moment of time,
the more i push myself to "thinking",
the more it makes me hate "thinking"..

thinking and more thinking!!!!heck.
i just can't think of something good to write.
well in fact i have more collected thoughts to pour out.LOL
its hard to think what would be the neutral terms to use.
what's with me??wth

on these very days, i dont know why i have the inability to create words..
do my brains still work?or does it need to be cleaned?full memory huh?? *sigh*

just thinking of being alone.. to gather all those restless thoughts & tensions that accumulates my system.. and wash them off to air.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

The Waiting

Have you ever asked somethin' fr0m Ab0ve that it made you persistent enough to h0pe for m0re?

Waiting is a risky thing to engage yourself at. It could c0st you, eat a l0t 0f you before you could realize you're up t0 something imp0ssible. Something hard t0 attain.

Is it really w0rth a try to wait?
By faith?

By someways, you could tell it is.
N0thing could be m0re fulfilling if you could give yourself at least a try.
But someone says,
"D0nt just TRY, DO it." (qu0ted from someone wh0 would always enc0urge me in doing things)

Saturday, May 2, 2009

"We are friends and I do like to pass the day with you in serious and inconsequential chatter. I wouldn't mind washing up beside you, dusting beside you, reading the back half of the paper while you read the front. We are friends and I would miss you, do miss you and think of you, do miss you and think of you very often"; (Jeanette Winterson quotes)

Friday, May 1, 2009

Labor Day

this is really a tiresome day. im dead tired and i doubt if i can call this day a labor day?ahaha

after i woke up, i prepared breakfast for us. and this? it seldom happened.haha
everyone celebrates the fiesta at my grandpa's place in Valladolid. They left last night and be arriving home tomorrow i think. We're only four at home. Me, my sis, bro, and my father..

Time...................Things I did
Photobucket7:30-8:00pm..... prepared breakfast for my siblings (frittata & chicken luncheon meat)
Photobucket8:00-9:00pm..... breakfast time; washed dishes
Photobucket9:00-12:30pm..... my sis and me had a general cleaning(scrubbing walls,moving furnitures, dusting, vacuuming, wiping windows, cleaning rooms) huhu,,if only the hours could be creditted for my practicum.huwaa
Photobucket12:30-1:00pm..... lunch break
Photobucket1:00-2:00pm..... washed dishes again. *cough*
Photobucket2:00-5:00pm..... go online while on the process of cleaning.ahaha
Photobucket5:00-5:30pm..... prepared merienda for my father and do some dishes again.lol
Photobucket5:30-6:00pm..... assisting my pop in mechanical works..lol its raining and our ceiling has a leakage on which i did some mopping at the mess
Photobucket6:00-6:30pm..... thank God i have taken a bath at last

right now, everybody is out of the house except me who is left behind..
my father has a work, my bro has its own business.LOL dunno where he is. at his gf's houz i think. and my sis paid the bill for the net. but until now, she's not home yet.i dunno her whereabouts.

oh...
this running nose is nothing but an annoyance..MyEm0.com
and this bad dry cough..

all these resulted from the past few days of walking marathon under the heat of the sun and the cold temperature of aircons after entering almost every hotel here in Bacolod, when we're trying to look for a company so we could begin our practicum asap. But until now, we never receive a call from the 5 hotels we had applied. This is starting to make me feel desperate. We have only a few weeks left to comply the 200 hours of duty. mehn again.. MyEm0.com*sigh*

right now, im alone in this house.
don't have any idea what to do..
i can't have a videoke session due to this stupid cough. gonna rest for a while..

*snap*
gonna let the piggy have his dinner.ahaha
be back afterwards..

here now xD..

MyEm0.Compiggy's dinner - done
MyEm0.commy dinner - done
MyEm0.CoMposhy's & MyEm0.Comqueensy's dinner - done


LOL,,,guess i can have my rest now..right? *phew*

at last, my sis and my bro had arrived.
i have a company now.. ^^
MyEm0.com

 

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