Happy New Year

Im thinking what could make you happy this New Year. But I guess nothing could make a person happy other than being with their loved ones. Maybe you just miss them so bad. Don't you? 


Anyway, I don't know how can i take part to minimize that ______ feelings (just fill in. idk what to call it.but you know it.think so?hahah) but I hope this simple i-dont-know-what-to-call-this thing can  paint a smile on your face while still having your busy sched. hahaha Wishin' you a Prosperous New Year..


Instead of my usual digital text greetings i made it entirely manual. (well except for the scanning part of course)


Say thank you to
colored paper,
pen, scissors & glue.
HAHA




Happy New Year EVERYONE!!










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Dear You

This is crazy...crazy because its happening to me. I don't know how many times would I have to view this??before my complete SURRENDER.. sheesh..Help me on this Lord..This is completely maddening. Sometimes you'll feel good, sometimes you'd long to hear from someone, sometimes you'll feel so uplifted, then there would be times you cry for unknown reasons in the middle of bliss? which you feel  is not from you,,but coming from someone..some sort of connection. BRRR

Dear twin,

_________________________________

_________________________________

_________________________________

_________________________________

_________________.

That's what I want to say. So just be it.

I don't know how to put it in words.

You know, just feel. Hehe =P

(Let's just have some videoke session for an energy release ^_^) Read More......

Make A Wish

Hi Lord,

Four days to go, its Christmas time! Excitement and a bit inexplicable sensation washed me inside. I started making my 3-in-1 wish list. That's for Christmas, my special day and graduation. haha What's nice about making wish list is that they do come true. I had 2 wish list that were granted already..Amazing! Except for the last one wish on my 2nd list I made in Cebu.I don't know if its delayed or is never meant to be granted. Anyway, let's see.

 My 3rd wish list is kind of impossible so maybe it'll take time to work. I believe it'll come true. So this is it. I'll just wait for next year for the proper receiving.♥ I don't wish the exact title of the gift that it should be __________. I wont complain Lord. All experiences behind me are just a preparatory stage and I learned so much from it. I know you're gonna give the best gift ever. It would not be the one I dreamed of, but likely the one I had never dreamed of. Another one of a kind experience. I'm smelling something great would happen. Sweet Aroma! ^_^


----
Oh btw, I just want to transform this bad feeling into something positive that's why I blogged. hehe well, if I can't have you maybe its really never meant to happen. I'm beginning to accept that fact or else I'll be torturing myself forever with those white lies I'd come up just believing that me and you will be together someday. But my heart know those aren't just lies. Its the truth i received from my inner guidance. Thanks though. God knows how much I do..


How much I prayed,
How much I hurt,
How much I learn,
How much I've changed,
How much I want to reconnect with you,
How much I miss you..
How much I love you without expecting you to love me.

But even how many "how much's" would life took me,
I guess that could never be enough.

Im  T.I.R.E.D. but why do I endure?
I supposed this is what  TRUE LOVE is.
Even how much it consumes you, it's what makes you tough and endure pain.
*Sigh*
this is truly maddening yet kind of magical experience.

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Love Butterfly

Looking for that extraordinary butterfly with hearts on its wings.. Here I am today, searching the net for its family..been browsing the different species but still can't find the one im looking for..aaaaaaaaah...mkabuang.haha I just need to find it..If i can't find the real one at least I know they are many..puuuh-leeeeeeez! I don't know why Im so crazy about this butterfly.


Angels. Butterflies. Hearts. Starfish. Stones. Crystals. my favorites.♥♥♥


BUTTERFLY+HEART = (Now, I can't explain the feeling.haha)


I'd be happy seeing that one again.
     I just feel guilty. 
            I killed it. Unintentionally. 

08.23.11 

"i'll update when I have photoshop already. para my illustration.haha"

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First Love

*I craze over this song..we always sang this back in SOGOD with Hannah and Rhea while lying in the bed or walking down the street or @BB J's Videoke.haha*


(English Version)
Once in a while
You are in my mind
I think about the days that we had
And i dream that these would all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
How I want here to be with you
Once more

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one in my life
So true, I believe i can never find
Somebody like you
my first love

Once in awhile
Your are in my dreams
I can feel the warmth of your embrace
And I pray that it will all come back to me
If only you knew every moment in time
Nothing goes on in my heart
Just like your memories
And how I want here to be with you
Once more
yah yah yah

You will always be inside my heart
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Please don't say no
Now and forever you are still the one
In my heart
So true, I believe I could never find
Somebody like you
My first love
oh oh

You will always gonna be the one
And you should know
How I wish I could have never let you go
Come into my life again
Oh, don't say no
You will always gonna be the one
So true, I believe I could never find
Now and forever Read More......

Confused

hai suzzz... *deep sigh* *and one more sigh*
isn't everything enough? kapoooy...

even how many people waves on me and try to knock at my door, i still end up thinking about the past so blurry..been struggling for years with this emotions...ENOOOOOOOUGGGGHHHH!!!please????

it's a mysterious experience... its diggin down deep in my soul.i dont know, i just couldn't explain this feeling.BRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

Now i feel so confused on what I'm holding on for so long. As new acquaintances are trying to enter the scene, I dont know if the one that i had believed would still be the one or not. So hard to tell. I see no actions. What if im just trying to build up those lies just to mask the pains? That were not really meant for each other? That I'm just trying to force these things to happen when in fact its not gonna happen?awwww...

anyway, the past few months I met a new friend, but we'd only get close these past few weeks before my return in Negros. His family showed me care..or maybe its just that i care for everyone I met,that's why.Karma it is..Good karma results into good life. The whole family approves and the only problem is me. He's a good guy, responsible, anything you wanted in a guy though he's not that handsome as my past love. Faces doesn't matter to me at all. My eyes would look at the soul directly. But there's still lacking. I wouldn't know yet. Before going home, I made him a scrapbook with our pictures with his family and my friends on. Just a thank you gift. All words used are wholesome and carefully chosen so as not to trigger any emotional flips.I would feel guilty if would enter in this relationship. We've talked about it already. That I couldn't still decide about it since Im waiting for the one God has chosen for me. It's good to know that he agrees with it without any complaints. He buys my medicine, prepares me foods and avoids those things I can't eat. I can feel he really cares for me. And I'm doing the same to his family not because that's what it is supposed to but this is who I am. And Im not just doing it for them but for everyone I meet, Still doing some observations,though. I'm open for the possibilities. WHAT IF? It's him? Only time can tell.

Then I know a friend too, we have so much in common. There's a part in him that I like..but there's still lacking..ai Lord.

Please give me an ALL-in-ONE package, could you?thank you in advance.hehe

all i know for certain is that I'm meeting someone I-don't-know-if-i-know-him-or-not..he's a little closer now.Next year I'll be seeing him - the "One".

Grow and be ready *_*
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A Message to my Twin

I thank God f0r lettng us meet again 0n this lifetime. My heart will always remembr you. It doesnt matter if we'll not end up together...but you'll ALWAYS be here in my HEART FOREVER.
.
.
.
For my s0ul rec0gnizes u..
And 0nly u can c0mplete me..

Because y0u are

my 0ther HALF,
my TWIN FLAME.

the 0ne, im waitng
f0r all 0f my life.

You're always
g0nna be the 0NE.

I c0uldn't believe t0 have f0und the REAL THING in u. Thank u s0 much Mr. Archir.N0 w0rds can ever measure 0r explain. N0b0dy c0uld understand this. F0r we b0th know, it's just between God and us.

I'll always treasure you. ^_^
Take care.

L0ve and light,
~j0i
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THE REAL THING

Dear Lord,

Thank you for makin' me feel certain that this heart knows what's right.
That this heart could only LOVE but not HATE,
Could only be TRUE but doesn't FAKE.

I couldn't take this as an illusion anymore because I know for sure that this thing is REAL. And only You can undestand that deeply. After almost 3 years of inner debate, I've come to believe that he's my twin. I hope that he would recognize me too.

I felt guilty after reading these pieces of information about the TWIN SOUL RUNNERS.. because I, too, am a runner. I've done all my might to cut all ties yet nothing had happened and it only resulted into depression, ripped soul and unproductive life. And the only effective way I had ever think of is to SURRENDER/ACCEPT that he's the other part of my soul. I've seen a great progress on my development and I feel I am in alignment with my inner self and God. I really do things well.

Im being patient Lord. Whatever happens, I know its for the best of us.

Im gonna leave everything in Your hands Lord.
Just do it Your way.♥ Read More......

Twin Soul Runner

hai Lord...sauce gd.life gd..this article is making me cry..
I wish to disappear. This is really happening to me.
Even how much I want to forget, do anything to cut ties - NOTHING HAPPENS.
I feel guilty of running away..I've swallowed my pride already and I'm tired of thinking what to do next. What to do??

Acceptance is the only way to end all this insanity.huweh..
Im gonna leave everything in your hands Lord. Just do it Your way.♥
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Twin Soul

I can almost relate to this article..very close.haiiiz..
almost the same experience i would say.

"For years I went through life confused about what I believed in.

My parents were religious [my father is a spiritual person] and although I believed in God and tried to follow their faith, there was always something missing. Things didn’t quite add up and I was left confused and with many questions. I turned away from religion and carried on for a few years drifting aimlessly along.

But then my twin soul came back into my life [except this: we had known each other in childhood] but there were no “sparks” back then, and my whole world was turned upside down. I went three years of feeling so much love and also so much fear and pain when it came to my twin soul and myself.

I didn’t know what was going on except for I felt petrified when I loved twin so much but didn’t actually like him as a person (at that time). My spirituality was becoming more apparent to me; I began to see deep down that some of the most real things in life were those that I couldn’t see with the naked eye. But I was too scared to believe in what I felt and knew to be true in my heart, so I carried on for years in great pain, convincing myself I was crazy and it was all in my head. [exactly..felt so insane, imbalanced]

But I knew in my heart that what we felt for each other amongst all the chaos, pain and fighting was real. In fact it was the most real thing about my life. [agreee!!!] But I didn’t have a logical explanation for it, so I blamed it on “obsession” and “weakness”. For however much we tried to push each other away out of fear, we always came back together by this feeling of massive magnetism. It was like I physically couldn’t help but be pulled to him, even if my ego wanted to cut all ties. [this is exactly what i wanted but can't do anything but to accept it] But, what I didn’t realise then is that the ties can never be cut. It was all a lesson in accepting oneself and others unconditionally.

Because he was the counterpart of my soul, I had to learn how to accept that mirror image I saw in him and come to love myself through those feelings of intense vulnerability. He also had to do the same. [i am hoping he would do the same] It’s an ongoing process, but once the difficulties of coming to accept oneself have been overcome, the Joining back together with the other half of your soul is amazing beyond what any human words could ever describe." Continuation

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Vibe Bugs?

Im doing great! I feel totally whole and loved! yet despite these heavenly feelings, i have these unknown vibes bugging me for a night or two already. ...sssskkkkkkk! what's this?? Read More......

THE WEIRD GUY IN MY DREAMS

I forgot what to say nyahaha.
My mind goes blank and I love it more than thinking of so many stuff on the same topic over and over again.
Do you have a psychic or a mystic friend , Lord? HAHAH Can i talk to her about some matters? I just want to know something about these soulmates and twinflames thing.HAHAHA

I've made a research on how to break the bond from the person I knew but it said when you'll have a soulmate encounter it would be difficult to break the bond. HU-WHY?When I don't think of this person it usually sprung on my mind from nowhere or in my dreams unexpectedly. This is kinda crazy. I'm making everything work so as to keep my balance but this man would really complicate things.

Honestly, July 2010 was my last contact with him. I greeted him on his birthday and that's all. I had forgotten him totally or rather consciously after that. So that time, I was busy doing a research about some more interesting stuff - esoteric knowledge. I dug so many ideas about the universe and they makes sense and my whole perspective changed about the universe and what's happening around. Very mysterious yet addicting. I feel like I'm totally connected with God and his creation at the same time.

I've lost my memory of him until on the last week of November. He reappeared in my dreams. So you see? Even if I don't have any contacts with him he's still intruding me in my dreams. What I don't fully understand is that what I call the "connection". I feel like there's something wrong going on with him but I don't know what was it. I've never put a thought on him but as the days had gone mad, I'd always see him in my dreams eventhough I wasn't thinking of him. I SWEAR. I can prove it on my blog posts. I don't like telling him to anyone so when I feel its very disturbing on my part, I just spill it over my blog. Not until I had this very weird dream. You may read it here. GUY ON A GRAY SHIRT

Weird because after watching the movie, I cried myself to sleep asking God to stop this connection and to take away those unwanted emotions I have for him. I asked what his role for me and then got that weird dream as a reply.

I still can't decipher the message. The weirdest of all, when I woke up in the morning, checking of fb is the usual thing, the same shirt color with I-dunno thing on his neck sent me a friend request on FB. Pretty weird, isn't it? I hated when I remember what my reaction was. I feel my whole body become numb and my vision blurred. I'm not exaggerating but I do really feel like fainting when the guy wearing that gray shirt on my dream showed up on FB. Coincident?I hope so. And another weird dream: A LITTLE LONGER

For now I don't wanna give connotations about this mysterious event in my life. I don't really think we could be friends because I think it's impossible to do so. The feeling is so intense that it could dominate my thoughts and maintaining a space between us would really help me to keep my balance.

We became friends again this year. I've told him partly what I needed to tell and then I decided to make no contacts with him. I am hopeful that after pouring out those suppressed thoughts and emotions for years, I could break the bond with him. I am certain to myself that I've learned what I needed to learn from him Lord. So I think, its time to let go so I'd be finally feel FREE. Free to accept the real thing for me. I'm excited to encounter the "ONE". Im praying that he's spiritually ready. Please reserve him for me Lord. And help me to recognize him at the perfect time.

i could feel he's just a mile away because I can smell the sweet aroma when the wind enters my nostrils. ♥ MEETING THE ONE ♥

Im so thankful on my encounter with the "guy in gray shirt" It really sped up my spiritual growth. I believe he was sent by God in preparation for meeting the "ONE". Congratz to me in advance!

FOCUS on the HERE and NOW.

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