Splash of the past

Its been a year and was expecting this would fade.
But it don’t.

I’ve let you go, thinking that this might not be His plan for me. The uncertainty and twists of events has lead me to the point of giving up my hopes.

I’ve been praying hard up to his moment if this aren’t from Above, or that isn’t according to His plan, He can take away these unknown feelings that keeps buggin' me over a year. Im gladly giving it away to You, Lord. Well I know this is crazy..coz it unnaturally disturbed my brain cells thinking for reasons of why im splashing out my thoughts again about the same old story. sorry. this won’t happen again. I just can’t bear the thought of it..

IKDG (cont)

Chapter One

So This Is Love?

Beyond What Feels Good, Back to What Is Good

It was finally here - Anna's wedding day, the day she had dreamed about and planned for months. The small, picturesque church was crowded with friends and family.

Sunlight poured through the stained-glass windows, and the gentle music of a string quartet filled within her. This was the moment for which she had waited so long. He gently took her hand, and they turned toward the altar.

But as the minister began to lead Anna and David through their vows, the unthinkable happened. A girl stood up in the middle of the congregation, walked quietly to the altar, and took David's other hand. Another girl approached and stood next to the first, followed by another. Soon, a chain of six girls stood by him as he repeated his vows to Anna.

Anna felt her lip begin to quiver as tears welled up in her eyes. "Is this some kind of joke?" she whispered to David.
"Im.. Im sorry, Anna," he said, staring at the floor.
"Who are these girls, David? What is going on?" she gasped. "They're girls from my past," he answered sadly. "Anna, they don't mean anything to me now...but I've given part of my heart to each of them."

"I thought your heart was mine," she said.
"It is, it is," he pleaded. "Everything that's left is yours."
A tear rolled down Anna's cheek. Then she woke up.

Betrayed

Anna told me about her dream in a letter. "When I awoke I felt so betrayed," she wrote. "But then I was struck with these sickening thoughts: How many men could line up next to me on my wedding day? How many times have I given my heart away in short-term relationships? Will I have anything left to give my husband?"

I often think of Anna's dream. The jarring image haunts me. There are girls from my past, too. What if they showed up on my wedding day? What could they say in the receiving line?

"Hello, Joshua. Those were some pretty lofty promises you made at the altar today. I hope you're better at keeping promises now than you were when I knew you."

"My, don;t you look nice in that tuxedo. And what a beautiful bride. Does she know about me? Have you told her all the sweet things you used to whisper in my ear?"

There are relationships I can only look back on with regret. I do my best to forget. I laugh them off as part of the game of love that everyone plays.

I know that God has been faithful to forgive as I've asked Him to. And I know that the various girls have forgiven me, because I've asked them to.

But Im still aware of the consequences of my selfishness. I gave my heart away too many times. And I took from girls what wasn't mine.
This is the rest of the post

I Kissed Dating Goodbye

i've been on a long vacation and never even missed my blog..haha
i've been too busy enjoying with so many things.
things so unusual as it was before.
although things can sometimes go mad, i hardly noticed catching myself from despair.


Everything is totally great and loving.
It is so fun pleasing God in everything you think and do.

And when i think back of the disappointments and heartaches i had on my past, i can clearly say, it was all too selfish. Love was selfish. It is a worldly kind of love. not God's definition of love. After reading a few pages of the book, "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" I can say im still innocent if in terms of His definition.

The reason that I have little time in blogging its because I want to spend more time pleasing God and to learn more about His definition of true love. (i've spent also time farming which adds up also to my busy schedule *grin*)

its hard to explain my feelings today. it's indescribable.. i smile without even knowing the reasons why. (im not being lunatic or what) Its an overwhelming feeling entrusting your future to God that everything would turn out fine.And it really is. I've turn richer than i could ever remember - not financially but spiritually.

Being single would never be a problem at all. =p

Reading Joshua Harris' book entitles "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" had inspired me throughout my journey -- to wait for God's timing. i have just started reading a few pages. And I really recommend you to read it too. Its an awesome book.

I KISSED DATING GOODBYE
Introduction

Thanks for picking up this book. Some people never get past the title.

"My friends won't touch it," one girl told me. "They hear the title and say, "There's no way I would ever do that."

One guy urged me to change the title. "More people would read it," he said. Maybe he's right. I heard the story of a confused bookstore customer who asked the owner for a copy of I Kissed My Date Goodbye. Now there's a book with a message people would read!

I decided to call this book I Kissed Dating Goodbye because I want to be up front with you - there are some radical ideas on these pages. Most other books on dating will tell how to make dating work for you. This book tells you how to make your life pleasing to God - even if that means taking a break from dating.

So let me make a simple request. Just read the first chapter. If nothing in it grabs you, that's fine. But I think you'll discover that something in this book could help you.

You see, I don't want to argue with you about whether or not you should date. Yes, I'll be honest about the problems I see in the way most people date today. But ultimately my goal isn't to convince you to stop dating. I want to help you examine the aspects of you life that dating touches - the way you treat others, the way you prepare for your future mate, your personal purity - and look at what it means to bring these areas in line with God's Word.

So even though in one sense this book is about dating, in another sense dating isn't really the point. The point is what God wants. Discussing if or how to date isn't an end in itself. Talking about it serves a purpose only when we view it in terms of its relation to God's overall plan for our lives.

You may not agree with some of the things I write. That's okay. My hope is that you'll stick around to see what I have to say. If you at least walk away from this book with a little more wisdom, my mission will have been accomplished - and your life could be enhanced. I pray that the ideas shared here will bring you a little close to God's desire for your life.

So thanks again for picking up the book. Thanks for reading more than the title.

-Joshua Harris

It's so nice to be happy!

here we go again.... *smile* *grin* *more grins* ahahaha

some people might think you're getting crazy day after day smiling, laughing for some unknown reasons..what they do not know that behind those smiles and laughs is not just about faking, masking and stuff which they had commonly seen, heard or felt from others. but its more like saying, i'm true, contented and genuinely happy inside and out.

Overjoyed

can't further pinpoint where my current emotions are generated from.
felt so high today.. *sigh* *grin*

some familiar state i was experiencing last year..
same old feelings..exactly!

still examining myself what could be the reasons why.
i wanna know in the first place why i feel so inspired..
im sure its not about that someone im talking past in my blog..
nor that i found someone new..
doesn't have anything to do with my grades..
nor with the 2 surprising scholarships i had received a few months ago..
or for passing the tesda assessment..

hmmm..im in the process of thinking.


i could still describe what i am doing when i was in that euphoric state..
was so happy that time that love overflowed and radiated out my whole being.

i could still remember, my notes are doodled always with heart shapes. (till now, i carried it with me)
even my buko pie during my baking class have hearts also..haha (sometimes my buddy diane and i are having minor argumentations because of our differing designs.hers was a broken heart and mine was the opposite,haha)
everything im doing was engraved or embellished with hearts ..LOL
can't imagine myself for skipping 2 classes just to send heart cookies from negros to cebu..haha (never done that before)
or sending some recorded sound clips through web..XD
or giving away slices of cake or a plate of dish to some people i don't know much..
i remembered the tricycle driver of my same age(i think), who asked for my number in a few weeks time after i handed him a piece of cake..ahaha (maybe he'd thought i liked him. totoinks!)

the old love feeling is re-existing..
yesterday, someone complimented on me and asked me if im in love?XP
"yes, im in love, as always. " what did i said? in love? ahaha
words just slipped out my mouth, ya know..^^

i dunno. nothing is bothering me right now.not even heartaches and confusion
just wanna enjoy everything i am in right now..ahaha
maybe, this heart-nosed creature could demo it for me


Good night everyone..


p.s. a very significant day for me. 16. Love you, LORD!^^
(would be editting/adding some lines in my next visit)

My Babies

it was a boring afternoon and i just came across this website.

MorphThing

cant stop myself from laughing, looking for some cute match to come up with a cute baby. really had fun! *LOL* you gotta try this..

here are my babies from their different lemme say "fathers"?XD


for my privacy can i just keep the names invisible?haha
lets play a guessing game. u ready??

now you can guess their father's name..haha

baby #1


baby #2

baby #3


baby #4


baby #5


who's the cutest among them all?

P.S. im 100% single.LOL,, im just having fun.okay?so dont spoil my day..haha

Drunk

i wanna blog but really have nothing to say.
did i just mean nothing?
umm, actually got more thoughts to blog yet dunno where to start.
and its just that im having a hard time putting it into words..^^

*freakin' spaced-out*

about my class this morning, i just remembered, our professor let us taste 6 kinds of wine: red wine, white wine, rose wine, champagne, black and white martini with varying alcohol content. we were required to taste all of them. in other words, each one must have a shotglass of each beverages.




since im not really engaging into such drinks, i had only forced myself to make 2-3 sips of each awful drinks (yeah,,tastes awful especially the white martini. taste like a fermented cockroach, eww) i offered my left-overs to my classmate since im allergic to alcohols.

some had gone beyond 10 shots already.guess what? my they were freakin' drunk during class. Red faces, sleepy eyes and uncontrolled noises covered the entire room.

*yawn*

im sleepy now.can't open my eyes wide..so i think
and maybe you think also i have to go for a rest.

good night!!
*off to bed*

Truth hurts

i really wanna know why there are some people who would love us to go through a more difficult path before exposing us to the most awaited and obvious truths..

why do they always love to play with people's feeling??
can't they play with their own emotions??
or maybe they don't just have one?
that's why they prefer playing with someone??



Okay, im trying to sound serious now about my blog's content so readers wont consider them as rubbish. Well im not really in favor with that kind of attitude.

Humans are not things. They are not just objects you could easily throw away when you see its damaged already or feel like its not important to you at all. Human beings are God's creature and should be treated with great respect.

Oh wait! i don't know really why in the middle of blogging, i talked about the difference between humans and objects when in fact there's only one important thought i'd like to impart to the readers..

it goes something like this oh...

Please...
please...

Don't ever try hiding things from somebody although you know it would hurt them. Don't let them wait for longer when you can immediately reveal them the truth"

Do you know what adds up the pain?
They are most likely the people who would say to themselves, "I'm afraid it would hurt so I'd better keep it until I have the courage to tell."

Pains won't last that long after some surprising revelations but it would hurt more when you try to conceal it much longer. Its not the truth that hurts. Its the gap, the hours of waiting which bring confusion sometimes depression.

So puh-lease, (isn't it obvious that im now begging?well...) if you are one of those people, be brave enough to say the truth. Don't try to conceal it in your hands..
For we all know, the one and only truth can set people free.

Weekly expenses stresses me

Have you ever grown tired of asking for money every now and then?
but then you don't have any choice whom to turn to but your parents?
and when you ask, you hear statements like "where would you spend it?" "that's too much" "we don't any left for our lunch" and some other stuff like that..*deep sigh*


Being a student is really a pressure for me especially if you're enrolled in a course with a lot of expenses..ingredients for dishes especially.it costs a lot of money. grrr...

every week, i have this where-should-i-get-the-money headache since i've got two subjects that requires purchasing of ingredients. too bad 'coz my savings are also used for my school expenses. But when bankruptcy settles on me, i would really ask money from my mom eventhough its kinda embarrassing. because im not really the type who always ask for help if i still can manage the situation. *dont have choice*

few hours ago, i asked again *lost 5 confidence points in the process*

what You have revealed a few days ago was a gratitude. and with that i was able to say, thank you for i can now say that he's not. I've just been saved. I know i am..^^

Reserved

got some news today..
but i don't have time to type yet.arrgh
(excited pa nman)



here i am, cramming now for my tour project and managing to study for my exams tomorrow .

hey, this is just a post to remember that i have something to tell on this very day..haha
well you know, every moment for me is significant.

i'm gonna make it as a basis for you know..haha

*sigh*

got nothing to do right now.
just having my guitar session,(forgot when was the last time i played)
when all of a sudden got my eyes welled up with tears after going OL.. T_T
and so wat kung globe ka.wth!
(naghapdi nlg mata ko kay huhu)
must visit my doctor for an eye check-up on Monday.
hope I wouldn't receive any bad remarks from him

Lord, PLEASE...don't try to tease me again..
PUh-LEeez :(
it's stressing me.