A Little Longer

Everytime I cried out and told God and my angels that I
should stop any connection with you, there's something strange happening.
seems like the world disagrees with me.i saw a man wearing white shirt
last night when i was about to close my eyes
and before my consciousness subsides. the last time, i saw him,
he was wearing gray shirt but with blurry face. Now,I can almost
see the shape of his face - he has an oval shaped face.the eyes wasn't
that clear yet.but atleast i now see his eyes unlike the man in gray that his
facial features are all blurry.


haiz...Lord.T_t
i dont know till when i can hold on with the same person.
should i let him go?should i share my world with others aside from him?
why everytime i think that i think i should go, i receive strange
transmissions??
why still i couldn't move on?
why if i insist that i dont want any connection with him, even without any
means of communication he is still connected with me in other means??
in a way only souls can understand??
why i feel sometimes losing a part of myself if i resist to forget him?
why do i feel pain when i think of that person?
why would he always cross my mind? even ive only met him once?
why would he always popped up on my thought even though i wasn't thinking of him?
why do i feel certain that he is the man for me?even though my mind rejects that thought?
why do i do things for him?
why do i have to resist these emotions?
is it because im afraid he would hurt me again?
is it because he already love someone?
or maybe he never had loved me?

haiz,,when would i learn how to balance my mind and my heart?
when would i learn how to follow my conscience?
when would i be deserving of a love so true?
when would i be happily in love again?

I did everything Lord, you know that.
I've changed me.
I'd become positive, happy, loving, caring for my family and friends.
I give them what I only have..LOVE,TIME.
I did everything for them Lord its not because I want something so bad.
I did it, give it openly and warmly because i love doing it.
..because this is ME.
I love them seeing happy when I share my little world that had been enlightened by You.
a world so magical and full of your richness and love that only me can understand.
That's why I wanted it to share with them so that they can also experience how am I being loved by YOu.
That I am genuinely happy and sincere..
That I dont need any rewards for those deeds..
That I can manage to be happy and strong as long as I have you Lord.

I did everything for you Lord.
But even how many times I tell you Im happy,
I still couldn't fill the gap in my heart.
I had given it to You for safekeeping a few years ago and Im really grateful
that you haven't handed it yet to anybody that doesn't deserves it..
Yes, i've found my true self and Im happy about it that i'd become whole.
Yet i couldn't explain these feelings that Im really a part of someone else's life.
But its okay Lord,maybe I have to wait a little longer
..for the right person
..at the right place
..in the right time and reasons
With God's timing, all is well and
everthing will fall into place.♥