How I Wish

Dear Lord,
If I had acted unkindly today please forgive me.
I just want you to know that the reason of the fight is not the star apple.
Maybe star apple is what triggers the whole thing. XD
I haven’t slept well this morning maybe that’s the reason of my mood shift.
I admit I am “suplada” but im not “bwisit”.
And perhaps “NAPUNO” na gid ko sa bro ko.
This is the whole story.


I was slicing the veggies for our daily consumption and he approached me,
Bro: Dai, kihada bi anai hu.
I: pwde mu lng gid mpihak sang kamot mu, pakihad mo pa.
Bro: dali lng gid po.
I: ai, ambot ah! (grabbed the star apple and divide using my hands)
Bro: teh?nano na oh! (naglapta jutai)
I: (resumed slicing the veggies)
Bro: gina-ayo ka lang gid poh. Daw sa piho ka!
I: pano nagpiho? OO na, lakat na to..
Bro: kasuplada cmu. Ndi ka mag-amo na..
I: oo na gani, hipos na da.
Bro: daw sa piho ka
I: (smile) ako pa ang piho.
Bro: Pamati man bla.Ndi ka mag-amo na ke sa ulihi ndi ka gid na mamayuhan.
I: Ok ah, kaw gapamati aw?
Bro: OO eh, ,msabat tka ayhan kng wla ko gpamati? Kbalo kman dapat mgrespeto kng gusto mo respetuhon.
I: huo na gni.
Bro: ah gale ha! Sugod sbng kay ndi tna ka pagsapak2on..ang bwisit ka
I: wala ko labot. (low voice and sliced my finger slightly. Ndi man sakit ah.after nlg.)
Bro: abi mo may makuha ka sakon?
I: ano mkuha ko cmu aw?ke wala man gid. (smile and still slicing)
Bro: lantawon ta kng may mapalangga cmu.amu na nga gnabayaan ka prmi kay kasuplada cmu..
I: (huh?gconnect man? Sorry lng gid ha,,damo nku gndeposit na LOVE. And im not afraid. Being suplada is not a factor. As if ikaw ndi suplado.)
Bro: lantawon ta eh. Ke magtigulang ka ikaw lang isa..
I: lantawon ta eh.. (abi mo mpati ko sa gnahambal mo aw?i can’t make u a model if you yourself can’t prove what you say. Asta ka lng prmi sa hambal. Patawhay ka lang prmi sa balay..cmu man b,ano mkuha ko 2od cmu??wala man gid)

Yes, you have been a good boyfriend to your gf.
But did you ask yourself if you have been a good brother to us??
Does a good brother shouts his younger brother to get off from the computer like treating him as a dog??
Does a good brother helps when being asked by a sister for a homework or any nursing-related works?
Did you ever asked if you have been a good son to our parents??
Did you ever asked if what things you have contributed in the house??
Yeah,,maybe just sit, eat. Maybe papa is right. You are just a boarder in the house.
You can’t even close your cabinet, clean your room or even just think of something what to contribute in this house. What you knew is just sit and stare in front of the computer, watch tv,eat..
Your alibis aren’t excuses.

Ako na gani Lord gatinlo ka room ya, biskan everyday gaugtas ko kay my ara na gid laguan, di pa da mbutang.Ilapta gid. Pero okay lang naanad nman ko. And Im hoping man tani mkbachag xia huya. Nga ndi ko ya maid pra mgsunod sg lapta ya. Im doing it for you Lord, to help him change. But insensitive gid xia ya katama. I’ve learned to stretch my patience. And give more extensions. Sbng ya napuno na gid ko.

You know what?Mama and Papa is just keeping quiet. But you can always tell that they’re also tired of reminding you everyday. And maybe its because they are hoping that someday, you will learn. That’s why they think its okay that Tita Melda won’t be staying home with us anymore. It’s because we are grown-ups now and they wanted us to learn life. Learn to do things independently without asking anybody to do it for you. I’ve learned so much. But did you??

Why do you think my smile stretches to my earlobes when I see you doing things that’ve not been asked you to do??Even just when you serve me a glass of water?Its because I said to myself, “hai at last daw na feel ko man gid even just for once na my brother ko. Hai hala ngpisan man gid xia. Ai hala Lord thank you gid ” And I wish it was everyday. T_T

I hope someday, if you can’t give it to me, please let Mae and Ton2 feel that they have an older brother. Then maybe I’d be the happiest sister in the world.

Im sorry Lord but maybe this is good to spill out these things instead of keeping it within me. SORRY. NAPUNO NA GID KO and its hurting me. I don’t blame him Lord. Maybe, time will come and he’ll be a better person. But for now, I just don’t want to say things that could hurt him more. Maybe I couldn’t really change him..Carefree gid xia ya. Im tired na. Ikaw na bahala cia Lord. T_T