Puzzling thoughts

A bittersweet th0ught:

What if the missing puzzle that c0mpleted me,
0f which i've f0und it through his help, (getting confused on this part.should it be his help or POP!) *single brain cell--- damaged*
Happens t0 be him? That he really is the part that made me wh0le?Uhuh?
How am i suppose to think about this?
*head shakes*

Ah..Nah...I refuse t0 dwell 0n this th0ught.

But what if its the reality i just can't accept?Just like bef0re I've kn0wn him?
That i can't accept i was fallin f0r him already the first week I've known him?
and simply I refused to name it as something for it started only in text messaging?
But there,i still ended up admitting i was madly in l0ve with him..

Tsk3,such a crazy shameful th0ughts t0 p0nder 0n..