The Thought of Him

12/6/08

Now playing: Angel by Tres
Again, i find it hard to stay in front of the monitor because it only makes me blue.i guess there's no other reason for me to go online but my school works.

there's so much things i've learned for weeks when i lost my contact to him and im so proud to have these progress..yes, i admit it im doing these for him not just for myself. But what could be so fulfilling when the one whom you're preparing yourself at is already gone? how could you be so happy without sharing this to someone special, without letting him know about it?

there's this feeling inside that depresses me. maybe its the thought of losing him. am i too late to let him know what and to whom my heart is truly shouting for? That i'd wanted him so bad..to be mine alone. no shares just, just me..the worst thing i have in mind is that id wanted him to be not just mine now but to be mine forever. is this insanity or what? falling in love so bad without seein' the person, without holding any info about him seems mysterious and wrong. yet i cant help my self staying away from the thought of him. because that's the thing that awakes me from reality.Is it just the thought that i love about him?if its just the thought, why would i bother preparing myself for just a thought, or an imagination i say?

but its.. (to be continued...)